All This Talk of PPD is...

well, depressing frankly!  I am here to share a happy day.  I realize that I hardly do that.  Partly because this is to help others suffering the debilitating effects of Postpartum Depression and Postpartum Anxiety, but now it's time.

Three year survivor here of PPA.  I was recounting a story I had posted here when that "angel" neighbor saved me from myself.  She's not really an angel by any stretch but that's neither here nor there for the moment.  It made me realize how far I have come.

I am struggling through a very difficult divorce, yet I am NOT depressed.  Nor do I have anxiety.  Surviving my PPA has made me stronger after all.  You know I never really did believe Kelly Clarkson when she sings ... "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger..." cause I never felt it.  I felt like I was dying a slow torturous death.

But guess what?  It's true...and I am proof!

I try to live moment to moment.  And right now is a happy moment which I know will result in a happy day.

Hang on...even when it appears there is nothing to hang on to.  Reach out online if that's all you have.  Just do it...you will come out alive and well on the other side.  I promise...

Are you an Olympic Gold Medal Winner when it comes to Motherhood?

Wouldn't it be nice if all us Moms could just get along?  They say men are competitive (whoever "they" is) but when it comes right down to it...guess what?  I would say that women would win this Olympic Gold Medal, hands down!

Why?  Because they can't stop judging.  It's almost as if it's an addiction...they just can't help themselves.  And it doesn't stop even when you have Postpartum Depression or Postpartum Anxiety.  And for the woman with PPD or PPA it may seem that the criticizing and judging is actually at its worst.

It's a sad state of affairs that so many of us Moms, well, really, what it comes down to is that so many of us Moms really don't know what we are doing.  Being a Mom didn't come with a handbook so how could any one of us stake a claim on doing Motherhood the right way.  We can't!  None of us can..!

So why is it that some Moms, and what seems to be a large majority of Moms think they should win the Olympic Gold Medal of Motherhood?

I dunno...you got me...!

Medical Billing Software

Do you need more efficiency in your medical practice? Are you tired of medical form-completion software that doesn’t quite measure up?  Then consider taking a look at UB-04Software, Inc. a medical insurance form filling software company.

Their medical billing forms software will free up your precious time so that you can see more patients and provide better customer service for them as well.

The ub04Claim Form is easy to use and you can either fill them out on your computer and print them, or submit them electronically.  With 24 hour friendly customer service and a simple straightforward contract you can’t go wrong with UB-04 software for all your medical billing needs.

What Does Postpartum Depression Have to do With Breastfeeding...

For this post not a whole lot.  Except for the fact that this issue causes me to be depressed.  But all I can say is WTF New York City? You are going to lock up all the infant formula in the hospitals and use it only when medically necessary because you say so?  Because you are advocating breastfeeding only? Aren't there easier ways of doing this? Give me a break!  I am an advocate of breastfeeding with the rest of them, however, I too used formula to save my sanity.  Give me a break!  Are my kids screwed up as a result of my periodically using formula...I don't think so.  And guess what? I was entirely formula fed as well as everyone I know because breastfeeding back in the day was taboo.  Hell it still is if you consider all the stares you get when breastfeeding your child in public even when you have a blanket covering you and the baby up.

And I think I came out okay.

.So WTF Mayor Bloomberg?

Here is a link to Katherine Stone, of Postpartum Progress, my favorite blog about PPD: When is it Not Okay to be Breastfed?

LGMedSupply relieves you of your Pain and Tones your Muscles

Do you need pain relief?  Are you tired of feeling your chronic aches and pains?  Then consider the TENS Unit by LGMedSupply.  This unit offers advanced technology to relieve all your chronic body pains.

If you need something more advanced for your painrelief then consider a muscle stimulator.  Our current supply of stimulators offer a more enhanced experience then the TENS Unit.

If you are looking for a device that can provide both the functionality of a TENS Unit and Muscle Stimulator then our LG Tec Dual Combo is right for you.  In addition to providing intense pain relief it also offers muscle toning at the same time.  Visit LGMedSupply online to see our wide variety of pain relief devices and visit our online customer blog for more information.

You Can Survive Postpartum Depression...and Divorce and other Crappy Stuff!

Okay...today is different.  Not sure why (well I kinda know but due to the divorce can't say) but I feel stronger.  Or should I say I am starting to finally feel some strength.  It's been a long time coming..I have felt weak for so long.

I know most of this won't make sense...I just felt a need to get this on paper...or rather blog...lol.  I survived Postpartum Depression and Postpartum Anxiety.  My son's third birthday in June marked the anniversary of the day my Postpartum Anxiety started to rear it's ugly monstrous head.

How long did that monster stay around?  Almost for a fucking year!  I know it sounds awful, not doable, not survivable.  But guess what?  Three years later I am still here today.  And you know what? I am going through an ugly, sucky, miserable divorce right now (from the husband who so didn't get the whole Postpartum Anxiety thing).  Thus the divorce...well, obviously way more than that but it stands to reason why things ended up the way they did.

Anyway, this divorce is workin' my last nerve on so many levels.  Some days it seems not doable, not survivable, so awful.  And I am just making the connection now...go figure.  There was a reason I felt compelled to write this down.  That if I could survive the deep, dark depths of Postpartum Anxiety, may be why I am surviving this...

Someone told me the other day that going through his divorce is actually more painful then losing his mother. And I kept thinking that, but didn't want to voice it out loud.  It made me feel so incredibly guilty to think it because that was one of the most painful experiences that occurred 23 years ago and I am still feeling the repercussions of it.

Interestingly enough, I actually think Postpartum Anxiety was worse then what I am going through now.  So guess fucking what?

If I survived that, I can so certainly survive this!  Abso-fucking-lutely!

AND YOU CAN SO SURVIVE YOUR POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY!!!

Just Do the Opposite...!

I came across this great blog a while back about Zen habits...never thought long or hard about this subject, which I guess is the whole point, but I really LIKE this guy.  So I am stealing his stuff...don't worry he said I could.

Onto Do the Opposite!

Post written by Leo Babauta.

Before I learned how to change habits, I was stuck. I kept trying to change various habits — running, eating healthier, waking earlier, getting out of debt, ending procrastination — and I kept failing.

I got very good at failing, in fact.

Looking back on those days, given the power of retrospect, I now know that I did everything wrong. I was setting myself up for failure, and in failing often and not learning from those mistakes, I was learning to be good at failing. Failing became my habit.

And while I’m actually a fan of failing as a method for learning how to get better at something quickly, if you’re not learning from your failures, it’s not as useful. So in that spirit, I’d like to share what I’ve learned from my failures so that you might glean some useful information from my suffering.

How to Fail at Habits

I failed at creating new habits repeatedly. Here’s what I did, and what most people also do:

1. Take on multiple habits at once. We have lots of things we want to change, so we try to change them all at once. Of course, this spreads our focus and energy thin, so that we can’t give our entire focus to any one habit. Habits are hard to change, and spreading yourself thin is a good way to make sure you fail.
2. Bite off more than you can chew. Whether you do one habit or many at a time, try to do as much with each habit as possible, so that it takes up a lot of energy and seems really hard. Don’t run for 5 minutes, try doing 30. That way it’ll be a big chunk of your day that will get pushed to tomorrow when other urgent things come up, it will take a lot of your physical and mental energy, and it’ll be something you dread doing because it’s so difficult. Don’t meditate for 5 minutes, meditate for 60. Do 90 minutes of yoga. Change your entire diet all at once. These are excellent ways to fail.
3. Tackle habits you don’t enjoy. Because habits should be something you do for moral reasons — they’re good for you! And so it doesn’t matter if you hate them, and if you dread doing them after awhile, because you’re going to be disciplined. That works extremely seldomly, so it’s a great strategy.
4. Keep it a secret. Don’t tell anyone you’re changing your habit. That way, if you mess up, it won’t be embarrassing. This means that you secretly think you’re going to mess up, which is another excellent way to fail.
5. Jump right into it. Decide today to start running, and just do it! This way you are treating it as if it’s nothing, and not a big commitment. You don’t plan for obstacles, don’t set up a support system, don’t give yourself rewards, and treat the habit change as lightly as you do putting on your socks. And when you quit doing the habit, it will be no problem either.
6. Don’t worry about how others have succeeded. Why read the success stories of other people? You know better than them. You can do it without learning from them. That’s what I used to think, at least.
7. Don’t motivate yourself. You don’t need motivation if you have discipline. Discipline is something you have or don’t have, but motivation is something you can actually do.
8. Give yourself plenty of opportunities to give up. Trying to eat healthy? Have your cupboards and fridge filled with junk food, and have it surround you at work, and go to restaurants filled with fried foods and sugary sweets. You’ll definitely have the discipline to ignore those.

The eight steps above are a sure-fire recipe for habit failure, and I recommend you try all of them if you’re looking to fail. Of course, if you’re looking to succeed, you might want to avoid them and possibly try the opposite.

 ( I like him too much to steal...:)

Uh...Al-anon...Really?

Okay - what does the title have to do with Postpartum Depression or Postpartum Anxiety?  Nothing.  At first glance.  Read on and maybe something might resonate if you grew up or are currently living with a drinker in your life.

At my therapists urging I attended my first Al-Anon meeting today.  Al-Anon is for people who grew up with loved ones who are alcoholics.  I thought she was going to urge me to go to A.A. at first.  Read prior entries about my concern about my drinking.

It took 5 mentions over the course of half a year before the 5th time her recommendation registered.

All I can say...well first I have to say to my therapist ... "THANK YOU!!!"

And second...I found my new family...I have to work right now, so I need to leave it at that, but I just needed to capture something from a meeting I attended that has opened a whole new door for me in my journey of this so called life.

It was incredibly powerful, unbelievable and indescribable what came to the surface in that meeting.

Sorry to leave you hanging...I guess really I am just still speechless...but once it sinks in I will be speechless no more.

Keep on keeping on...:)

Smoking and Your Health

There is one thing in life that most of us take for granted and that would be our health.  It’s when we are in poor health that we realize how important it is to try and get back to good again.  It’s important to live a healthy lifestyle so that you can be your best not only because you owe it to yourself, but you owe it to your kids and family as well.  They need you.

One way to stay healthy is to walk.  Even if you only have the time to walk around the block for 15-20 minutes at least three times a week, you will be better off for it.

Another extremely healthy thing you can do for yourself is quitting smoking if you are a smoker.

Do you know that every eight seconds someone dies from a smoking-related illness?  That’s a huge number, and you don’t want to become part of that statistic.

The good news is the sooner you quit the better off you'll be because your lungs have the capacity to regenerate themselves and get rid of any toxins as a result of smoking.  You will also add years on back to your life because smoking on average cuts your life expectancy by 13 years.  That’s a lot of years to lose just over a cigarette.

Can't Stop Now...(old 2010 post)

Ya know, every time I think of giving up on this blog, cause I'm just not sure I should be airing my dirty laundry to the world, I get comments like the last post.  It cracked me up.  So, I continue.  Funny thing is, now that I'm feeling better, I can't figure out what to write.  When I was depressed I could go deeper.  Now that I'm better I don't know if I have anything important to share.  Does that sound crazy?