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Saturday, September 11, 2010

Things That Can Trigger my depression...

When a friend/neighbor de-friends me.  Turns out she was addicted to pain pills, and wanted to quit.  We developed a friendship over the course of a year.  We both had PPD in common, only she had it the year prior and for a whole year.  She had twins (still does)...Well, I feel like we had developed a great friendship only I realized partially because I overlooked her addiction.  While I sat with her and had my glass of wine every night she popped her pills and we were 2 happy enablers.  But I soon realized how serious her problem was.  Especially cause she kept telling me I was the one with the problem.  And she was lying to me all the time.  She didn't think I knew...but of course I did.  She lied to her husband all the time why did I think I was the exception.  When she started hanging out with someone else who was even more vulnerable than me I realized it was cause I was the only one she had told her secret too and I was a reminder of that.  Her husband didn't even know.  Well, I know that I was hurting more than helping, so I confronted her and told her she had to tell her husband.  It was the only way I knew how to get her help.  In the end I got the hurt because she threw back at me all of our intimate discussions in a not so nice way...now we're just neighbors...and that I believe is what triggered my last bout of depression.

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