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Friday, March 18, 2011

why am i here AGAIN...???!

i am soooo sick of this. once again, great day yesterday, livin' in the moment like eckhert tolle in a "new earth" says to do, but today, the big D. D-E-P-R-E-S-S-I-O-N...i just don't get it...ok...to be fair...i don't think i've mentioned yet that my 8yo DD was just recently diagnosed with a serious eye disease that could cause her to go blind and is in fact the 3RD LEADING CAUSE OF BLINDNESS IN THE WORLD! and she is going through a regimen of steroid eye drops (7X a day, 3 different drops)and turns out she was a "steroid responder" and her eye pressure went through the ROOF (above 40. 20 and below is normal) and also is doing low-dose chemotherapy injections once a week. for those that are interested the diagnosis is Uveitis. i know...uve what? i had no idea...all those people that go blind for no reason...guess what? it was probably Uveitis.

anyway, i digress...i feel like i am going crazy...guess what came back as a result...my POSTPARTUM ANXIETY (PPA). not anything like after i had my son, but it definitely came back and i already used up all my klonopin...hmm...i give up~!

Monday, March 14, 2011

neighbors in the south SUCK!

sorry southerners, but it's how i feel right now...know why? okay, here goes...a certain unnamed neighbor who is the gossip, the nosy one, the troublemaker, the involved, in everyone's business one, was building up resentment toward my 8yo daughter and i...why?...well, that's for another post cause it's too long to tell here...anyway, long story longer, my sweet newly adopted dog, bit her dog because her redneck foolish husband didn't bother to respond to my urgent requests to pick up his dog, pull his dog away, etc. etc. he had her at the end of a 20ft. long retractable leash (i hate those things...they are dangerous PEOPLE!) and my dog pulled away from me, bit his dog and he was being sooooooooo clueless (the husband not the dog...the dog is smartER than he is) I was the one who had to pick his dog up! his dog was fine, but they called animal control on us...even after i went over, said i would pay the vet bill, urged foolish husband to take said dog to vet knowing how foolish he was...okay, long story long again, they almost beat us up...literally!

southern charm should be known as southern-i'll-be-as-sweet-as-pie-to-your-face-and-talk-serious-shit-behind-your-back-and-give-you-a-hug-the-next-day-BLESS-YOUR-HEART!...coming from the west coast i wasn't aware that every time the above neighbor said "bless her heart" to me she was really saying "fuck you!"...well, BLESS YOUR HEART SOUTHERN NEIGHBOR...!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

what is this???

Okay - maybe it's not postpartum anything, my son is 20 months old for godsakes...but i'm freakin out right now...my Rx ran out, no refills, went cold turkey for 3 days and i'm so dizzy and out of my mind i want to hurt someone (a certain neighbor in particular)and did i mention that i believe i am pms'ing...?

this sucks! for all you ppd mom's out there...i feel for you, i know it sucks for you too right now...just don't let your meds run out... it happens so easily because life is so busy and before you know it you have no meds, no refills and the doctor isn't returning the call....i am off to tarjay first thing in the a.m. before i hurt my neighbor, i mean someone...i mean my neighbor....i mean this doesn't count as incriminating evidence does it???!
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