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Sunday, August 5, 2012

Love Postpartum Progress...Katherine Stone is a Great Woman...

6 Surprising Symptoms of Postpartum Depression and Anxiety
One woman with postpartum depression may look and sound completely different from the next one. Here are six of the most surprising symptoms of PPD and anxiety.

Friday, August 3, 2012

Who is Victimized Here...

You's interesting.  The place I have created here, not only for myself, which has been extremely therapeutic for me, but for other women as well, what I thought would be a safe place,  how it can become...not so safe.  Because of electronic media we can confess are skeletons to the world for everyone to see.  However, it causes much emotional distress for some, when suddenly it feels like you are being stalked.  Who knew you could not only be stalked in person as well as online.  I didn't think I would ever be the victim of this.  It's quite distressing.

And it's quite unfortunate.

Atlanta Drug and Alcohol Rehab

Do you know of someone who has been struggling with a drug or alcohol addiction?  Are you concerned for not only their health but their mental well-being?  If you are at the point where you are looking for a drug rehabilitation center, consider the Atlanta Drug Rehab.

No one knows why someone becomes addicted to drugs or alcohol.  There is no single addiction gene.  Susceptibility of addiction is the result of an interplay of many genes as well as environmental factors. We already know that alcoholism is a disease as well as hereditary.  But, just because you are susceptible does not guarantee addiction.  Behavior and environment also play a crucial role in the addiction outcome.
However, either way, no one wants to become addicted to drugs or alcohol.  Recognizing you need help is the first step in your road to recovery.  Atlanta Drug Abuse Rehab Centers offer an excellent alternative to going it alone.

Atlanta Alcohol Rehab offers a comfortable setting for you or your loved one.  It is situated in an area off the beaten path so that one can remain in anonymity while they go through their difficult recovery process.  Going to a rehabilitation center will optimize your success at beating your addiction.

All This Talk of PPD is...

well, depressing frankly!  I am here to share a happy day.  I realize that I hardly do that.  Partly because this is to help others suffering the debilitating effects of Postpartum Depression and Postpartum Anxiety, but now it's time.

Three year survivor here of PPA.  I was recounting a story I had posted here when that "angel" neighbor saved me from myself.  She's not really an angel by any stretch but that's neither here nor there for the moment.  It made me realize how far I have come.

I am struggling through a very difficult divorce, yet I am NOT depressed.  Nor do I have anxiety.  Surviving my PPA has made me stronger after all.  You know I never really did believe Kelly Clarkson when she sings ... "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger..." cause I never felt it.  I felt like I was dying a slow torturous death.

But guess what?  It's true...and I am proof!

I try to live moment to moment.  And right now is a happy moment which I know will result in a happy day.

Hang on...even when it appears there is nothing to hang on to.  Reach out online if that's all you have.  Just do will come out alive and well on the other side.  I promise...

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Are you an Olympic Gold Medal Winner when it comes to Motherhood?

Wouldn't it be nice if all us Moms could just get along?  They say men are competitive (whoever "they" is) but when it comes right down to it...guess what?  I would say that women would win this Olympic Gold Medal, hands down!

Why?  Because they can't stop judging.  It's almost as if it's an addiction...they just can't help themselves.  And it doesn't stop even when you have Postpartum Depression or Postpartum Anxiety.  And for the woman with PPD or PPA it may seem that the criticizing and judging is actually at its worst.

It's a sad state of affairs that so many of us Moms, well, really, what it comes down to is that so many of us Moms really don't know what we are doing.  Being a Mom didn't come with a handbook so how could any one of us stake a claim on doing Motherhood the right way.  We can't!  None of us can..!

So why is it that some Moms, and what seems to be a large majority of Moms think they should win the Olympic Gold Medal of Motherhood?

I got me...!

Medical Billing Software

Do you need more efficiency in your medical practice? Are you tired of medical form-completion software that doesn’t quite measure up?  Then consider taking a look at UB-04Software, Inc. a medical insurance form filling software company.

Their medical billing forms software will free up your precious time so that you can see more patients and provide better customer service for them as well.

The ub04Claim Form is easy to use and you can either fill them out on your computer and print them, or submit them electronically.  With 24 hour friendly customer service and a simple straightforward contract you can’t go wrong with UB-04 software for all your medical billing needs.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

What Does Postpartum Depression Have to do With Breastfeeding...

For this post not a whole lot.  Except for the fact that this issue causes me to be depressed.  But all I can say is WTF New York City? You are going to lock up all the infant formula in the hospitals and use it only when medically necessary because you say so?  Because you are advocating breastfeeding only? Aren't there easier ways of doing this? Give me a break!  I am an advocate of breastfeeding with the rest of them, however, I too used formula to save my sanity.  Give me a break!  Are my kids screwed up as a result of my periodically using formula...I don't think so.  And guess what? I was entirely formula fed as well as everyone I know because breastfeeding back in the day was taboo.  Hell it still is if you consider all the stares you get when breastfeeding your child in public even when you have a blanket covering you and the baby up.

And I think I came out okay.

.So WTF Mayor Bloomberg?

Here is a link to Katherine Stone, of Postpartum Progress, my favorite blog about PPD: When is it Not Okay to be Breastfed?

Sunday, July 15, 2012

LGMedSupply relieves you of your Pain and Tones your Muscles

Do you need pain relief?  Are you tired of feeling your chronic aches and pains?  Then consider the TENS Unit by LGMedSupply.  This unit offers advanced technology to relieve all your chronic body pains.

If you need something more advanced for your painrelief then consider a muscle stimulator.  Our current supply of stimulators offer a more enhanced experience then the TENS Unit.

If you are looking for a device that can provide both the functionality of a TENS Unit and Muscle Stimulator then our LG Tec Dual Combo is right for you.  In addition to providing intense pain relief it also offers muscle toning at the same time.  Visit LGMedSupply online to see our wide variety of pain relief devices and visit our online customer blog for more information.

You Can Survive Postpartum Depression...and Divorce and other Crappy Stuff! is different.  Not sure why (well I kinda know but due to the divorce can't say) but I feel stronger.  Or should I say I am starting to finally feel some strength.  It's been a long time coming..I have felt weak for so long.

I know most of this won't make sense...I just felt a need to get this on paper...or rather  I survived Postpartum Depression and Postpartum Anxiety.  My son's third birthday in June marked the anniversary of the day my Postpartum Anxiety started to rear it's ugly monstrous head.

How long did that monster stay around?  Almost for a fucking year!  I know it sounds awful, not doable, not survivable.  But guess what?  Three years later I am still here today.  And you know what? I am going through an ugly, sucky, miserable divorce right now (from the husband who so didn't get the whole Postpartum Anxiety thing).  Thus the divorce...well, obviously way more than that but it stands to reason why things ended up the way they did.

Anyway, this divorce is workin' my last nerve on so many levels.  Some days it seems not doable, not survivable, so awful.  And I am just making the connection now...go figure.  There was a reason I felt compelled to write this down.  That if I could survive the deep, dark depths of Postpartum Anxiety, may be why I am surviving this...

Someone told me the other day that going through his divorce is actually more painful then losing his mother. And I kept thinking that, but didn't want to voice it out loud.  It made me feel so incredibly guilty to think it because that was one of the most painful experiences that occurred 23 years ago and I am still feeling the repercussions of it.

Interestingly enough, I actually think Postpartum Anxiety was worse then what I am going through now.  So guess fucking what?

If I survived that, I can so certainly survive this!  Abso-fucking-lutely!


Friday, July 13, 2012

Just Do the Opposite...!

I came across this great blog a while back about Zen habits...never thought long or hard about this subject, which I guess is the whole point, but I really LIKE this guy.  So I am stealing his stuff...don't worry he said I could.

Onto Do the Opposite!

Post written by Leo Babauta.
Before I learned how to change habits, I was stuck. I kept trying to change various habits — running, eating healthier, waking earlier, getting out of debt, ending procrastination — and I kept failing.
I got very good at failing, in fact.
Looking back on those days, given the power of retrospect, I now know that I did everything wrong. I was setting myself up for failure, and in failing often and not learning from those mistakes, I was learning to be good at failing. Failing became my habit.
And while I’m actually a fan of failing as a method for learning how to get better at something quickly, if you’re not learning from your failures, it’s not as useful. So in that spirit, I’d like to share what I’ve learned from my failures so that you might glean some useful information from my suffering.

How to Fail at Habits

I failed at creating new habits repeatedly. Here’s what I did, and what most people also do:
  1. Take on multiple habits at once. We have lots of things we want to change, so we try to change them all at once. Of course, this spreads our focus and energy thin, so that we can’t give our entire focus to any one habit. Habits are hard to change, and spreading yourself thin is a good way to make sure you fail.
  2. Bite off more than you can chew. Whether you do one habit or many at a time, try to do as much with each habit as possible, so that it takes up a lot of energy and seems really hard. Don’t run for 5 minutes, try doing 30. That way it’ll be a big chunk of your day that will get pushed to tomorrow when other urgent things come up, it will take a lot of your physical and mental energy, and it’ll be something you dread doing because it’s so difficult. Don’t meditate for 5 minutes, meditate for 60. Do 90 minutes of yoga. Change your entire diet all at once. These are excellent ways to fail.
  3. Tackle habits you don’t enjoy. Because habits should be something you do for moral reasons — they’re good for you! And so it doesn’t matter if you hate them, and if you dread doing them after awhile, because you’re going to be disciplined. That works extremely seldomly, so it’s a great strategy.
  4. Keep it a secret. Don’t tell anyone you’re changing your habit. That way, if you mess up, it won’t be embarrassing. This means that you secretly think you’re going to mess up, which is another excellent way to fail.
  5. Jump right into it. Decide today to start running, and just do it! This way you are treating it as if it’s nothing, and not a big commitment. You don’t plan for obstacles, don’t set up a support system, don’t give yourself rewards, and treat the habit change as lightly as you do putting on your socks. And when you quit doing the habit, it will be no problem either.
  6. Don’t worry about how others have succeeded. Why read the success stories of other people? You know better than them. You can do it without learning from them. That’s what I used to think, at least.
  7. Don’t motivate yourself. You don’t need motivation if you have discipline. Discipline is something you have or don’t have, but motivation is something you can actually do.
  8. Give yourself plenty of opportunities to give up. Trying to eat healthy? Have your cupboards and fridge filled with junk food, and have it surround you at work, and go to restaurants filled with fried foods and sugary sweets. You’ll definitely have the discipline to ignore those.
The eight steps above are a sure-fire recipe for habit failure, and I recommend you try all of them if you’re looking to fail. Of course, if you’re looking to succeed, you might want to avoid them and possibly try the opposite.
 ( I like him too much to steal...:)

Saturday, June 9, 2012


Okay - what does the title have to do with Postpartum Depression or Postpartum Anxiety?  Nothing.  At first glance.  Read on and maybe something might resonate if you grew up or are currently living with a drinker in your life.

At my therapists urging I attended my first Al-Anon meeting today.  Al-Anon is for people who grew up with loved ones who are alcoholics.  I thought she was going to urge me to go to A.A. at first.  Read prior entries about my concern about my drinking.

It took 5 mentions over the course of half a year before the 5th time her recommendation registered.

All I can say...well first I have to say to my therapist ... "THANK YOU!!!"

And second...I found my new family...I have to work right now, so I need to leave it at that, but I just needed to capture something from a meeting I attended that has opened a whole new door for me in my journey of this so called life.

It was incredibly powerful, unbelievable and indescribable what came to the surface in that meeting.

Sorry to leave you hanging...I guess really I am just still speechless...but once it sinks in I will be speechless no more.

Keep on keeping on...:)

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Smoking and Your Health

There is one thing in life that most of us take for granted and that would be our health.  It’s when we are in poor health that we realize how important it is to try and get back to good again.  It’s important to live a healthy lifestyle so that you can be your best not only because you owe it to yourself, but you owe it to your kids and family as well.  They need you.

One way to stay healthy is to walk.  Even if you only have the time to walk around the block for 15-20 minutes at least three times a week, you will be better off for it.

Another extremely healthy thing you can do for yourself is quitting smoking if you are a smoker.

Do you know that every eight seconds someone dies from a smoking-related illness?  That’s a huge number, and you don’t want to become part of that statistic.

The good news is the sooner you quit the better off you'll be because your lungs have the capacity to regenerate themselves and get rid of any toxins as a result of smoking.  You will also add years on back to your life because smoking on average cuts your life expectancy by 13 years.  That’s a lot of years to lose just over a cigarette.

Monday, May 7, 2012

Can't Stop Now...(old 2010 post)

Ya know, every time I think of giving up on this blog, cause I'm just not sure I should be airing my dirty laundry to the world, I get comments like the last post.  It cracked me up.  So, I continue.  Funny thing is, now that I'm feeling better, I can't figure out what to write.  When I was depressed I could go deeper.  Now that I'm better I don't know if I have anything important to share.  Does that sound crazy?


some days, do you just feel helpless? hopeless, helpless, lost? that was soooo me today.  and it's hard.  you feel like a bad parent when this is happening, you feel like a bad mom (i know same thing, but in this case i am doing both jobs) and a bad person.  and you just want someone to save you.  but the only person that can save you from this, is,  which sucks.  cause you can't do that right now.

hopeless, hapless,

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

i know what i need to do...

i woke up this morning knowing what i need to do. have you ever had that clarity where you went from confusion and chaos and then one morning you wake up and you just know.

you see i am going through a an ugly, painful divorce right now.  the man that didn't support me through any of my depression and anxiety and none of my postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety, is also a verbally abusive man.

the thing is, i didn't know it.  i so desperately wanted him to understand and show empathy.  he never did and he never could.  i have paid for it dearly.  i may not have bumps and bruises on the outside to show proof to the world, but you can bet my scars run deep on the inside.  i used to wish he would just hit me so i could prove to others what i had discovered deep down inside.

the time when he would show me the least concern? when i was sick.  including my PPD and PPA sessions.

i thought he just didn't understand.  the thing is, he didn't even want to try and understand.  and i was too lost in it to try and explain to him what was going on.

and what is it i need to do?  take control back of my life.  it starts today. it starts here. it starts now.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Postpartum Depression for My Mom...

I was sitting here thinking...I have a pic. of my Mom when she was probably in her 20's, happy, smiling, dancing with some hot Latino, and it made me question...did she go through postpartum anxiety and depression with my sister and I?  And why haven't I thought about that until now?

I know that I have been selfish in thinking that I so-wish-to-God that she could have been with me through the birth of my two children, as well as the Postpartum anxiety that followed...and almost put me in a mental hospital, and a grave.  But I never really thought about what she went through.

I am 44 so in my Mom's day they didn't have anti-depressants to take.  If she did have PPD or PPA did she know it?  Or did she just think she was crazy?  Did she tell my Dad? Her Friends?  Did she have a Circle of Moms that she could go to to get advice and commiserate?

Speaking of Dad reminded me that back in my Mom's day they really did lock women up in mental hospitals which I am sure was a result of Postpartum Depression and Postpartum Anxiety...

And to think I was going to check myself into a mental hospital just like back in the day.  I am on meds. I had a little bit of support, I called my doc. when it was really bad.  You want to know what he said???

Since it was the weekend he told me if I seriously thought about harming myself, I needed to go to the ER...Huh!  Like I was at a point where I could make any logical decision at all.  I would have rather harmed myself then think I could make it to the ER.

A neighbor actually saved the day.  Read my post about "Southern Neighbors" to see what happened.

And it all comes back full circle doesn't it.  Women with PPD for the first time think they are crazy.  Women like myself who have experienced depression and anxiety at some point in their lives still think they are crazy when the PPD/PPA fog shrouds them in darkness.  Women think other women are weak who are experiencing PPD.

I would not wish this malady on my worst enemy.  So much more needs to be done on this issue.

We need more resources.  We need more awareness.  We need more understanding.  We need something more...

Friday, April 20, 2012

Alcohol and Drug Rehabilitation in Atlanta, Georgia

Why a drug or alcohol rehabilitation center?  Well, if friends and family members have suggested you need drug or alcohol rehabilitation it’s likely that you have a serious problem; very serious. 

And if you have questioned that maybe your drug or alcohol usage may be a bit much, combined with your friends and family advising you to go to a treatment center, well then, it’s time to go.

It is a scary proposition, because you don’t believe or think that you can go totally sober. Especially, if you’ve been using for many years, it may seem like you can’t survive or go it alone without your drug of choice.

Here is why you need to check into an Atlanta alcohol rehab program right away.  There is no hard and fast data about success rates for rehab programs but the figure seems to be somewhere in the 70% range.  If you go it alone the chances of success are highly unlikely, especially for those who have a serious dependency and will go through withdrawal symptoms.

Withdrawal symptoms will cause you to use almost immediately and an Atlanta Drug Rehab can alleviate those symptoms for you.  You have to have the motivation and desire to go, but once you make that decision it will be the best one you have made for your future.

High-Intensity Focused Ultrasound (HIFU) for Prostate Cancer

According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), in 2007 approximately 227,000 men were diagnosed with prostate cancer in the United States and approximately 29,000 died. 

These statistics show that since 1998 the incidence of this disease has either remained level or decreased significantly.  Also, the mortality rate has decreased significantly since 1998.  The reason for the reduction in diagnosis and mortality is due to the improvements in treatment.

Prostate cancer is the most common cancer diagnosed in men.  The good news about prostate cancer, if there ever is any good news with a diagnosis of any kind of cancer, is that it is one of the slowest spreading cancers that you can be diagnosed with.

Because of this, many men can live with the disease for years without having to risk the side-effects that are inevitable with certain treatment plans.

There are many treatments for prostate cancer with varying success rates.  One of these treatments is High-Intensity Focused Ultrasound (HIFU).  HIFU is a precise medical procedure that uses localized intense sonic energy that heats and essentially vaporizes damaged tissue.

The good news about using HIFU to eradicate prostate cancer is that it has a high success rate, and a low rate of risks or side effects.  After one year, 95% of men who received HIFU treatment for prostate cancer, remained cancer-free.

This is great news for men with this disease because the other options, like surgery and radiotherapy, have a higher risk of causing incontinence or impotence than HIFU.

HIFU uses a highly-focused laser that can target an area as small as millimeters in size which makes it a highly desirable alternative to traditional surgery which removes a portion of the prostate.  Traditional surgery can also cause sexual dysfunction and more frequent trips to the bathroom for men.

HIFU is an excellent and successful new alternative treatment plan for prostate cancer that will allow men to significantly improve their quality of life.                                                                                         

Disclosure of Material Connection: This is a “sponsored post.” The company who sponsored it compensated me via a cash payment, gift, or something else of value to write it. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

sitting with the crazies...

okay...that sooo wasn't nice i know. i was referring to sitting in the waiting room of my therapist's office.  mind you this is coming from someone who identifies with crazy.  i'm not used to sitting in a waiting room of a shrink's office, sorry for all the stereotypes, because my last 3 therapists (yes, I am now on 4), didn't have a waiting room.  more like either a small alcove with a chair, a house, or lobby.  never a waiting room.

so on days it's packed guess what?  it's awkward...i don't know why, it just is. i always advocate that this isn't about taboos...thus this blog.

but it's just funny when you're sitting in a waiting room, desperately wanting to be by your own crazy self, when suddenly there are 8 others in close proximity.  and one of them has a crazy 2 year old who's alll over the place. oh wait...that's me...cause yes as a mom not only do you not get to pee by yourself you also don't get to therapy by yourself either.

so there we were...and i try to smile at others, and make eye contact.  which is pretty stupid because i know when i was at my crazy worst, or crazy  best depending on how you look at it, i was in such panick mode i would be on the verge of screaming hysterically if someone so much as glimpsed my way...but i want to be friendly and give that knowing glance that it's all good.  it's all going to be okay.  we're not crazy, or we're all crazy because the whole world is crazy when you get right down to it so who cares right?

anyway, just making a craazyyyy observation...because i can....because i'm one of them...he... he... he...

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

everything changes

so my life looks nothing like it did almost two and a half years ago when my baby son was born and i suffered from severe postpartum anxiety.  crazy times.  who knew?! I can honestly say i am Happy.  Wow.  i have been unable to say that for a long time.

as to postpartum anxiety...gone.  ladies it can be done.  i am living proof...emphasis on the living.

regular' ol depression and anxiety...gone.

what's my secret? having a person come into your life who shows you that you are a good person. that you are lovable. that you are important and matter. this person could go away today, and i would have fond memories and be extremely thankful to this person, knowing they came into my life for a short period of time for a reason. to save me from myself.

now the rest is up to me....

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Have You Been a Victim of Mesothelioma?

Many people have been victims of mesothelioma as a result of being near or working around asbestos-contaminated buildings. Unbeknownst to the victim, they were being poisoned by this extremely toxic material that is now illegal to be used in any building construction whatsoever.

Mesothelioma is a lung-related disease from inhaling the toxic chemicals released whenever asbestos has been disturbed. Asbestos started being used in the late 19th century. It was unknown for many years that asbestos was toxic. If you are a victim of asbestos poisoning then you will want to contact a mesothelioma lawyer. Only an expert in asbestos-related cases can provide you with the best representation to help you get compensation you need for the resulting medical bills.

There are many mesothelioma lawyers who have acquired the necessary knowledge to represent your rights in being a victim of this silent killer.
Unfortunately, the prognosis for this malignant cancer is extremely poor. The other unfortunate issue is that symptoms usually don’t appear until ten or 20 years after the exposure to asbestos.

If you or a family member has been a victim of mesothelioma caused by asbestos exposure it is of utmost importance to contact a mesothelioma law firm. They specialize in only asbestos-related mesothelioma cases and can assist you in getting the compensation you justly deserve.

Monday, March 5, 2012

suicide ideation

sucks. It's the preoccupation with death and thoughts of suicide. Not necessarily something you would actually act upon, but the preoccuaption is incredibly scary.

Particularly if you drink. I hate to admit this out loud but I actually thought of how I was going to do it. I had too many glasses of wine, too much pain and sadness, and it seemed the easy way out and the only way out.

When I woke in the morning and that first realization that I had given such serious thought to this...scared the living hell out of me.

You see I have 2 young kids.

Why does suicide ideation occur? Not sure but here's my theory: I've had my fair share of depression, anxiety, postpartum anxiety so the death thoughts aren't anything new. I think your body can only take so much overwhelming stress and anxiety that your ability to handle ongoing stress becomes limited.

In other words, your threshold is lowered. So the next time you get a huge blow in your life, you don't have the same capacity you did before to deal with it.

Thus anxiety and depression occur.

And suicide ideation.