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Thursday, April 26, 2012

Postpartum Depression for My Mom...

I was sitting here thinking...I have a pic. of my Mom when she was probably in her 20's, happy, smiling, dancing with some hot Latino, and it made me question...did she go through postpartum anxiety and depression with my sister and I?  And why haven't I thought about that until now?

I know that I have been selfish in thinking that I so-wish-to-God that she could have been with me through the birth of my two children, as well as the Postpartum anxiety that followed...and almost put me in a mental hospital, and a grave.  But I never really thought about what she went through.

I am 44 so in my Mom's day they didn't have anti-depressants to take.  If she did have PPD or PPA did she know it?  Or did she just think she was crazy?  Did she tell anyone...like my Dad? Her Friends?  Did she have a Circle of Moms that she could go to to get advice and commiserate?

Speaking of crazy...my Dad reminded me that back in my Mom's day they really did lock women up in mental hospitals which I am sure was a result of Postpartum Depression and Postpartum Anxiety...

And to think I was going to check myself into a mental hospital just like back in the day.  I am on meds. I had a little bit of support, I called my doc. when it was really bad.  You want to know what he said???

Since it was the weekend he told me if I seriously thought about harming myself, I needed to go to the ER...Huh!  Like I was at a point where I could make any logical decision at all.  I would have rather harmed myself then think I could make it to the ER.

A neighbor actually saved the day.  Read my post about "Southern Neighbors" to see what happened.

And it all comes back full circle doesn't it.  Women with PPD for the first time think they are crazy.  Women like myself who have experienced depression and anxiety at some point in their lives still think they are crazy when the PPD/PPA fog shrouds them in darkness.  Women think other women are weak who are experiencing PPD.

I would not wish this malady on my worst enemy.  So much more needs to be done on this issue.

We need more resources.  We need more awareness.  We need more understanding.  We need something more...

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