The Lurker...

that's what I'll call my persistent depression/anxiety. Every time I want to enjoy the moment, enjoy my new little boy, or my daughter, it's there lurking in my brain. I can't shake it...I've tried literally. I wish it would go away, but the more I try and wish it away the more I become aware of it. I know they say that which you resist only persists stronger, it's so hard not to resist it. They say to accept it, but how do you accept something that makes you so miserable and doubt yourself as a wife, mother, individual, and hate everything about yourself. I can't accept that! But I know that if I am going to get past this, I am going to have to try....