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Saturday, July 25, 2009

sleeping through the night....

Every new parent fantasizes about it...well, it happened last 5 weeks and 5 days. And night in this instance means from midnight to 5 a.m. We were shocked to say the least. And I'm not holding my breath that it will happen again tonite, cause newborns aren't supposed to do this until about 2+ months of age and some don't even do it until 9 mos...Sleep means everything right now with this postpartum. I'm feeling a little better this morning. I just wish I could shake the edgy fear factor I feel...cause it still makes me afraid of my baby, ambivalent towards him and towards becoming a Mom again. One thing I heard on that show "Obsessed" which I think is great (the show), is the therapist said those suffering from anxiety want a guarantee that things will be better, but there are no guarantees in life so we just keep looking for the guarantee and get more anxious when it doesn't happen. I keep looking for it but I know I just need to keep pushing forward, moment by moment...

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