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Friday, July 24, 2009

who is that boy...?

I was in what felt like a drug-induced sleep and my husband walked into the room with the baby....oh, he's still here? and I have to do something with him? could I be a worse Mom?! I got up nursed, changed a diaper, burped, all the newborn things you're supposed to do...maybe if I keep doing them (do I have a choice?!) they will start to feel normal and real and not like this is someone else's kid. I mean he is adorable, everyone keeps telling me so, why can't I just enjoy this....? Oh yeah, it's the Postpartum Anxiety dragging me down, making me feel like none of this is real, lowering my self-esteem, reducing me to someone I don't even recognize. Well, I've seen her before, but if my family read this they wouldn't recognize me.

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